So, Shannon is doing well with the whole pregnancy thing. We're due in June and are going through all the getting ready stuff. We had the first baby shower this past weekend and came away with all sorts of loot - thanks to everyone for the thoughtful gifts. We're having someone come in and finish out the unfinished bonus room above the garage, relocating the dvd player, weight bench, and xbox up there, and then moving the nursery into that downstairs room. Big times!
My friend Jason and his wife are also expecting less sleep in the coming months and less money in the bank in coming years. He brought up something in a recent post, and felt it was my obligation to respond. Jason writes:
"... is into her 6th month now and is getting bigger by the minute. I've recently had a thought. Most women when they are pregnant look cute, but they usually not happy about the whole pregnant thing. They love the idea of having a baby, but hate the being pregnant part."
No, from what I've observed, most women don't like the weight gain part of pregnancy. Coping with things like that come from the rational thinking part of the brain that women don't have. [Totally a joke. No need for women to send scornful remarks. Men have that rational thinking part of the brain and don't use it, so we're even.]
Jason, from one man fumbling his way through this thing for the first time to another, here are my immediate thoughts...
-never again in reference to Beth use the phrase "getting bigger by the minute." Ever.
-be on the lookout for those times you know she's not thinking about how she looks, when she's in a good mood about everything else, and then slip in a casual "you look cute" kind of comment (if you can be specific about the compliment, it's even better: clothes, etc..)
-keep talking about all the things she's excited about - nursery, showers, parents excitement and over-excitement, the ultrasound pictures, picking names. Talking about these means you're not talking about her getting big.
-and when she is talking about getting big, memorize this phrase and repeat after me: "You're not fat. You're pregnant. You have a baby in there. You're SUPPOSED to look this way." Then smile sweetly, hug her, and quickly run away to work in the garage for thirty or forty minutes.
-offer to go for walks; it's quality time together and also helps her feel like she's doing something helpful for the way she looks (carefully bring this up if it's something totally new. you don't want it to be, "let's go for a walk, fatty!")
-Shannon has some maternity clothes she borrowed from a handful of friends who've recently been preg. It's like she's got a whole new wardrobe to choose from, and girls like clothes.
-talk to the baby about mommy, like she's not there. i don't know how this fits this list, but do it. it's funny.
-avoid the use of any words that reference size. This includes, but is not limited to: fat, large, chubby, chunky, hefty, heavy, super-sized, thunder thighs, or elephant woman. Not even in joking. These words can send you straight into a tailspin.
There are times you set out to do something the right way. And then there are other times you just kinda look around you and all of a sudden realize some of the things that are working, that just sort of happen. These thoughts are mostly those 'just realized what's working' category. Not an expert, just some from the hip thoughts on your subject.
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